This has been one heck of a week. It started on Monday, when I went to the doctors and was prescribed antidepressants. Took one, but the clinic told me they weren’t ideal to take during treatment, so I could either have the dr prescribe something different or try their counselling service. I opted for the counselling, and had a session on Wednesday. I really…it seems wrong to use this word, but I did enjoy it in a way. Inasmuch as it really helped me and was so good to see someone who wasn’t trying to push positivity on me or tell me everything would be fine, but who was instead just helping me sort through my own feelings. We touched on how I feel about myself, and how I feel about my relationship and how I feel about secondary infertility. It was just really good, it helped me a lot.
Then on Thursday, we found out that we do not qualify to have refund cycles using Access fertility. This was a huge blow, as we relied on that as our cushion…like, ok we are spending thousands but if it doesn’t work we get half the money back which meant we could either pay off a lot of the debt or gk on holiday or something. Now we can’t do that. I also feel like they’re basically saying they think it won’t work for us so they’re not willing to offer a refund element as it’s a bad bet for them. I’ve found that pretty hard to be honest. I have been trying hard to be positive and feel like that’s just telling me we are wasting our time. Regardless, we are going ahead anyway. I guess it doesn’t mean anything really. It either works or it doesn’t at the end of the day!
Urgh. Anyway. We have now paid up, booked our final viral blood tests, C’s backup sperm freeze and our injection teach training session. It’s finally coming round!!