Happy 2019!

Another year begins! They sure roll around quickly. 2018 wasn’t a great year for our family – my grandma passed away in August suddenly and my grandad is becoming really quite distant with his dementia, which has accelerated massively during the past year. He began the year still reasonably competent but since my grandma passed we realised that he is not at all capable of taking care of himself and my mum, my sister and I now have deputyship over him, and power of attorney ey over my great aunt and my uncle, who both have various health problems. My grandma was really healthy until around June when she had some kind of “turn” and went into hospital but recovered fairly well. Unfortunately she had a huge epileptic fits couple of months later that she never really fully came round from, a thing called Status Epilepticus, and she passed away a few weeks later. I never got a chance to see her between Christmas 2017 and her last stay in hospital, where she wasn’t properly conscious and it was quite honestly an awful time. Her death was the first close family member of mine to pass so it was hard , and it’s been really very hard to see the effect on my mum, grandad, uncle and great aunt. My grandma was definitely the glue that held the family together and I kick myself for not making the effort to see her. I’m trying to make sure I dont make the same mistake with other family members. Added to that is of course the constant grind of infertility and all in all it’s definitely been one of the worst years.

So, it is for more than one reason I am happy to see the end of 2018, as finally *finally!* we have reached the year where we can actually do IVF!! The year of IVF, as I have been referring to it with C. Depending on how the saving goes, and how much we can borrow, I’m hoping to get it started in June, or earlier if possible. We have 2 MOT’s for our cars to pass before that though, and my car is still hanging by a thread at being roadworthy! Literally once ivf is finished it is on the list to upgrade, I just need it to hang on a little bit longer!!

I cannot believe that IVF is finally within touching distance. I can definitely say that this year we are starting it. By the time we get on with it it will have been 4 years ttc. FOUR YEARS! A generally miserable and sad 4 years it has been too. I keep getting a little jump in my tummy when I think that I might be pregnant for Christmas 2019. I don’t want to get too over excited though, but eeeeeek. Nope, I can’t help it. Maybe we will be. The clinic we are using has a 49% success rate for women under 35 and I will be 33 when we start, so well within that range. Plus we are going for 3 rounds plus any frozen transfers, should we get so lucky.

I’ve started taking vitamins and stuff again in the last few days. I don’t want to go too crazy or spend too much, so have whittled it down to me on pregnacare conception, C on Wellman conception and both on 1000mg of vit c and 300mg of coq 10. I’m not convinced they will have any effect, but at least I feel like we are preparing. They do seem to have some reasonable benefits to fertility and let’s be fair, we need all the help we can get! Also, we meant to be on a health kick now 2019 has begun but we have *So. Much. Chocolate* in the house from Christmas. Namely, 2 tins of celebrations, one pouch of Mars sweets (which has the exact same sweets in as celebrations so why it’s not called a celebrations pouch I don’t really know) and also a tin of pick your own quality street that my parents got us. Not to mention 2 tins of shortbread. Jeez. We’ll be eating it til Easter!

Speaking of which, I’m so excited for spring. I know it’s only January 2nd, but 2019 got me excited. Here’s hoping it’s a good one 🤞

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